The sun sets on a June summer solstice and we hop onto our scooter to travel to the famous Phuket Night Markets.
There are numerous posts about these markets, but what if you’re like me and are not interested in the knock-off Chanel and Ralph Lauren clothing because you have been wearing the same 3 dresses on rotation for the last 8 months and find a simple wardrobe works for you?
What if you are adventurous in your food tastings, but have had too many ‘surprise’ dishes recently?
What if you spent the whole day sightseeing and the dogs are barking (or in my case, have pulled a back muscle) and can’t be arsed walking the entire market?
Here’s a five-step guide for enjoying the Night Market in Phuket on a budget and less than 2500 Fitbit steps*.
Step 1 – You better like food on a stick
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t because any food delivered directly to one’s mouth via the ubiquitous bamboo skewer is in my books the best.
The variety of food on a stick is pretty endless.
There are flavoured balls on sticks; flavoured balls wrapped in deep fried wonton pastry on sticks; flavoured balls dipped in sweet chilli sauce on sticks. What I’m getting at is that you better like flavoured balls.
Okay in all seriousness they are a delight and ranging from 5 -15 Baht per stick they make for a super cheap meal. Start by walking to the very back of the markets towards the car park (I promise this is the furthest you have to walk) and feast on pork skewers. Barbecued just right with a sweet caramelised texture and at 5 Baht you will end up getting two. Then backtrack to the lovely ladies with the variety of food on sticks including fish and beef balls, sausages, crab sticks and squid.
Step 2 – All these sticks are making me thirsty
It’s Thailand. It’s hot. It’s also a crowded market and consuming your body weight in sodium via food on a stick is thirsty work. Depending on whether you have recently damaged yourself on cheap Chang beer or not will influence your refreshment choices. I spotted 4 good options.
Vitamin packed fresh juice at just over A$1.50, it’s an investment in health.
Needing a sugar explosion to satisfy an Augustus Gloop then there is the Thai version of Willy Wonka with his rainbow colours of flavoured syrup poured over crushed ice.
Sore feet? No problem, there’s a bar set up in the carpark near the toilets.
Got no time for this, then Mr Mojito who wants you ‘to drink up or shut up’ is your man with 80 Baht big gulp size drinks.
Step 3 – Time for dinner
You have had a stick starter and been watered, now it’s time for the main event.
Still so many food stall options available, but at this point in time you are probably wanting to sit down and I suggest one of the few ‘restaurants’ on site.
Menus are in English with pictures so you can’t go too wrong. Watch the hive of activity take place from the sidelines while enjoying some Thai favourites.
Step 4 – Get some takeaway
If I’ve learnt anything on these travels it is that you can eat whatever food you want for breakfast. So start the day right and get yourself some barbecued duck with rice or chicken marinated in honey and herbs cooked over hot coals. Match this with some sugar toast and you are set.
Step 5 – Remember where you parked
As night falls and you fall into your food coma you want to remember where your non-descript, white 150cc scooter lives. Take note before heading into the furore otherwise it can be a long night.
So there you have it. An in-and-out market experience to satisfy the belly monster and sans fake bag purchase.
Today’s word flow brought to you by listening to Porn Sword Tobacco.
* Actual steps 2847